what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
