It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
