It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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