You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
