woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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