im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize