He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Randomize
