the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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