Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
My bed smells like the plague
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
