You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
