ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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