Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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