So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize