The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
