i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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