the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
