1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
