My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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