they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
