Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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