Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
