I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
