Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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