Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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