try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
