I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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