why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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