i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
