I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
