Someone shit on the floor
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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