sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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