yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
