she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
