So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
