I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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