So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
