So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
