You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize