dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
We are all done wearing pants today
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
