Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
