I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
