The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
