the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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