So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
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