The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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