what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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