I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
