I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
so that wasnt chicken after all
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I had to cum in my sink.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
