Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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