Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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