i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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