I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
