He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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