you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
