i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
