i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
