He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
