He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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