when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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